“I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.” — Audre Lorde
Recently, I’ve been reading the works of writer/poet, Audre Lorde. A self-described “black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet,” Audre Lorde dedicated both her life and her creative talent to confronting and addressing the injustices of racism, sexism, and homophobia. — Poetry Foundation
With all of the news of sexual misconduct allegations and the ongoing references to the “me too” movement in the media, I’m finding her words so relevant today.
The following is an excerpt from The Cancer Journals (1980) which is a collection of her speeches, essays and day-to-day journals about her personal experience with breast cancer. As someone who has a personal history with breast cancer, I was diagnosed at 29 and went through treatment for over 5 years, and as someone who has spent most of my life learning how to overcome fears around creative expression and of “speaking up”, this completely resonates.
Audre Lorde on “Your Silences Will Not Protect You:”
“I was going to die, sooner or later, whether or not I had even spoken myself. My silences had not protected me. Your silences will not protect you…. What are the words you do not yet have? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own need for language.
I began to ask each time: “What’s the worst that could happen to me if I tell this truth?” Unlike women in other countries, our breaking silence is unlikely to have us jailed, “disappeared” or run off the road at night. Our speaking out will irritate some people, get us called bitchy or hypersensitive and disrupt some dinner parties.
And then our speaking out will permit other women to speak, until laws are changed and lives are saved and the world is altered forever.
Next time, ask: What’s the worst that will happen? Then push yourself a little further than you dare. Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it’s personal. And the world won’t end.
And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you… as I think Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.”
And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.”
The quotes above are taken from the first chapter of Audre Lorde’s ‘The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action‘ which was a speech she gave on December 28, 1977 at the Lesbian and Literature Panel of the Modern Language Association.
I tend to be a perfectionist. I tend to edit everything I do. A lot. Because I want everything to be perfect. I tend to edit what I’m going to say and how I’m going to say it. I’m always editing myself. I’m doing it as I write this. I re-wrote this paragraph and the sentences in this paragraph a few times already.
Liz Lulu 