One of my best friends was just recently diagnosed with breast cancer. As someone who’s been there, I was able to find some words to try to console her and help her through what she’s about to go through.

I wrote the following on a train ride into work and texted it to her. Seems I’ve collected a lot of strategies for myself over the years that are worth sharing:

Thinking of you and sending you a ton of love and positive energy. ❤️

Whatever happens, I feel it in my heart that you will get through this.

Here are some of the things that I focus on to get me through my life challenges:

1. Take it one step at a time. One thing at a time. One moment at a time.

2. Don’t worry about taking care of everyone around you. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Trust yourself.

3. Listen to yourself. Really listen. Stop to listen. And trust in the answers. Trust in yourself. For me, I meditate to keep myself centered. Otherwise it’s all noise.

4. Reach out to your friends and family, your support system. For me, this is easier said than done. I have to do this deliberately. I have to make the effort to ask for what I need. What I’ve learned is that they WANT to help. They NEED to help. Somehow, it helps them to help me.

5. One thing that I also believe is that “life happens FOR me, not TO me.” Sit on that one for awhile.

6. Rather than asking useless questions like “why me?,” I ask myself more empowering questions like “what do I have to learn from this?” I think that is the most important question. “What do I have to learn from this?”

7. One thing I know to be true is that life can change on a dime. For the good or the bad. One person you meet or one event can change the entire trajectory of your life.

That’s why it’s not worth it to worry. Focus on being in the moment and what’s in front of you at the time. Not on possible scenarios and a future that hasn’t happened yet. Like I said yesterday, those are just stories.

7. Focus on being grateful. Ask yourself, “what’s great about this?” If you can’t find the answer. Ask yourself, “what could be great about this?” If you can’t find the answer don’t worry about it and think about the great people in your life. Because there are so many of them.

8. The way I’ve been able to reframe all the heartache and pain in my life. All of the crap that life has dealt me. And I’ve been dealt a lot. The way I’ve been able to reframe it is through the meaning that I place on each and every event.

The meaning for me is that a purpose of my life is to help other people through their pain. My personal experience has helped me to connect in a way that others can’t.

I’m learning my personal life lessons so I can share them with others in an empathetic and compassionate way. Through my words, my music and my actions. Through my story. Through my song.

Everything I just shared is what works for me. You need to find what works for YOU.

You may have noticed that I numbered all my tips. Haha. Yeah. That’s what I do.

Focus on #3 for now.